Those are not my pyjamas!
There is a range of Usborne children’s books called That’s not my… teddy, elephant, train, tiger… and so on.
The teddy’s paws that are too woolly, the elephant’s ears are too rough, the train’s wheels are too squashy, and the tiger’s nose is too fuzzy!
Well today I hung some pyjamas on my washing line and they are not MY PYJAMAS!
These are NOT my pyjamas!
They are too long in the leg, too soft and too green*, they don’t belong to me.
(*there is nothing wrong with being too soft or too green, but it is an accurate observation)
So why have I got someone else’s nightwear on my line?
Sometimes it happens when my boys come to stay, I love sending them home with clean, sweet smelling, neatly folded clothes. Honestly it doesn’t matter how old they get I will probably ALWAYS look after them in everyway I can, until I get to the point where they HAVE to look after me – Power of Attorney in the process of being registered, I’ve been very grown up this summer, but I digress…
Whose PJs are on my washing line? How did they end up there?
There is a perfectly reasonable explanation, and now I’ve waffled on so much I’m wondering if you really want the rest of the story?
But, before your minds run amok thinking up implausible scenarios I will of course explain.
I have just been away for a few days in soggy wet Derbyshire (it rained a lot while we were there) I went to the Hayes Conference Centre in Swanwick for CRT25 (Christian Resources Together). I’ve been to the centre before, many years ago, but I’d never been to CRT before. It’s quite overwhelming being in a huge hall filled with trade stands, booksellers, publishers and a smattering of authors.
Fortunately, I wasn’t going alone and travelled up with my Resolute buddies Sue and Ruth. When Sue and I reached Ruth’s she was ticking things off out loud making sure she had packed everything she needed.
“Books, toothpaste, knickers, pyjamas…”
“Oh bother*, that’s what I forgot – pyjamas.”
(*other expletives are available!)
“You can borrow my best pair.” Said Ruth.
We are of a similar height and size, not too skinny or too round – just perfect – so it was a great plan. Especially when Ruth regaled me with tales of a previous visit to the conference centre when a gathering of authors met outside at midnight in their nightwear when the fire alarm went off.
One must look their best day or night on these occasions. Especially when one is shortlisted for an award.
And Ruth Leigh wins the award for Selfless Pyjama Generosity, as well as some other prize.
Meanwhile I win the Most Prunes eaten at Breakfast Award – don’t ask!
The breakfast of champions!